Your Guide to Being an Iconic Movie Witch

How to be a fabulous witch, daaaaaaaaarling
Darling, look. You want to be a witch, right? We get it. Witches look good, cast spells, and generally run the joint. But there are all kinds of witches. Which witches are we talking about? The truly fabulous kind, like Anne Hathaway’s Grand High Witches in the new film, The Witches. So we’ve compiled a guide on the things you’ll need to nail if you want to be a flawless, fabulous, fierce witch.

Dress to impress


Back in the day, witches wore any old thing. Usually black. And whilst black is slimming, what makes a true witch is an eye for fashion. Whether you’re trying to blend in or stand out, you want something that will let you leap into action, cast a spell, foil a plot or ruin a life at a moments notice. Oh, and no horizontal stripes. We’re looking at YOU, Wicked Witch of the East.


An evil laugh


Whether it’s a bellow or a cackle, a witch who looks and sounds like velvet and champagne wants to go absolutely wild on the laugh. Cursed a small village? Really throw that head back, make your eyes go wide like you’re slightly unhinged. But remember to always, always have your hair and makeup done. Even though you’re celebrating the destruction of your foes, you need to look flawless doing so.


Make an entrance


Don’t walk into a room. EXPLODE into a room. But also, glide while doing so. You essentially get one chance to have people gasp and scream internally, so make sure you have a walk planned. Treat the first three metres of every room you’ve just entered as if they’re your runway.


Learn to fly


This one is a little tricky for some witches (not all witches have the aptitude). But if you can manage it, flying is perhaps the single simplest way to say to the world “hi, world, I’m a witch, and you can tell because I’m flying a literal broomstick”. It’s not subtle, but if you were subtle, hey. You wouldn’t be fabulous. 


Animal familiar


Some witches spruce up their look by pairing their witchy vibe with an animal familiar. Are you familiar with the animal familiar as a fashion accessory, darling? Picture a talking cat, ideally a black cat. It’s the kind of sleep, stylish, simple accompaniment to any stunning attire you might have thrown on.


Spellcasting


Yes, yes. We know. You became a witch to look good, but really, if you want to walk the walk you’re going to need to do witchy things. You know, cast spells! Hex people! Destroy (or save, if you want to be boring) lives! Wand technique is key. You want to make it look like you’re ordering a bottle of Bollinger off a very large menu from three feet away, not like you’re waving around a big stick like a clumsy person.


Master of makeup


Even the most hideous complexion can be made to look utterly flawless if you’re good enough at makeup. All of us wake up some days looking hideous, but guess what, friends? There’s always concealer. And, failing that… a latex mask.


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