Game Of Thrones Season 7 Recap: Episode 7 Roll-Call

As always, *SPOILERS* ARE COMING
So. Much. To. Digest. This episode had everything we wanted and more and it left us on a HUGE cliffhanger in our wait for the final season. As we begin our long wait, let’s break down this bittersweet episode.

Pretty Much Everyone - Present, AT THE SAME TIME


Jon and Tyrion

All the greats, aka the characters who haven’t been killed off yet, together at last in the same scene. Dany, Jon, Cersei, Jaime, Tyrion, Brienne, Bronn, Jorah, Lord Varys, Euron, Theon, Qyburn, The Hound, The Mountain (and a Wight) - all in Blackwater Bay to talk shop.

Tyrion took the lead since the meeting between Dany and Cersei was his idea but it was Jon who delivered the sales pitch to Cersei. Convincing her that White Walkers are a thing was no mean feat, but thankfully they still had that Wight in captivity, so after The Hound set it loose (anyone else hoping it would kill the Queen?) Jon demonstrated how you kill them: with fire or Dragonglass. Safe to say, she’s a believer now (did you see her squirm!?) and after some persuading by Tyrion who we were convinced was going to get his head chopped off, she agreed to a truce and signed up to fight in The Great War. Or so we thought…

A shout out to Dany for her rock star entrance, flying in on Drogon, and Cersei calling her out on being late. Who run the world?

Our Favourite Couples - Present and reunited


Theon greyjoy

Podrick and Tyrion, Tyrion and Bronn, Tyrion and wine, Jaime and Brienne, Brienne and The Hound, The Hound and The Mountain... 

But it was the OG bromance of Jon and Theon gave us all the feels when poor, tortured Theon revealed he would have to switch sides to rescue his sister from Euron. With a lump in our throats and Jon’s blessing, we watched Theon bid farewell to his oldest friend to go bash Brendan Cowell into a bloody pulp, recruit his men and go get Yara. #deathwish

At last, Theon has learned how to do the right thing. We have high hopes for him.

Family Face-Offs – Present

Round One: Sansa vs. Jon

sansa

Sansa is shitty when she receives a scroll from Jon telling her he’s given up the North for Dany without discussing it with her first. Bloody Littlefinger swoops in to convince her Jon only did it cos Dany is hot and he wants a piece (not wrong) and encourages her to claim Winterfell for herself.
Q: Considering what came next, was she really pissed at Jon or did she just pretend she was to make Littlefinger believe he had her even further caught in his trap? 

Round Two: Cersei vs. Tyrion

Tyrion

Tyrion tries to reason with Cersei that siding with Dany will save their family because she’s going to make the world a better place. But it turns out Cersei is still hung up on Tyrion killing their dad so she just can’t comprehend his logic. Cersei reckons if Tyrion hadn’t topped Tywin, then Tommen and Myrcella would still be alive. Tyrion is hugely apologetic (whyyyy?) and even offers his own life as penance. Cersei couldn’t bring herself to do it, which was a massive surprise. Maybe she has a heart after all?

Round Three: Cersei vs. Jaime

Cersei and Jaime

Cue communal heart attack when it looked like Jaime was a dead man! Thank the Gods Cersei didn’t hurt him - we wouldn’t have coped.

Turns out Cersei is feeling mighty betrayed by Jaime for meeting with Tyrion (damn the woman can hold a grudge!). Jaime tried to reason with Cersei over the fact she actually has no intention of helping Dany and Jon in The Great War. Her plan is to let the dead and living kill each other up North and then she’ll rebuild in the South. Jaime made the very valid point that if the White Walkers win, they’ll turn the Northern armies into the dead and essentially double their forces, but Cersei doesn’t seem too fussed about that.

The best part of round three was when Cersei revealed to Jaime that she’d been making secret plans with Euron without telling him. Turns out Euron wasn’t bailing on The Great War because he was terrified of the Wight like he made out, he’s off to Essos to bring back a 20,000-strong army complete with ELEPHANTS, PEOPLE!

Aegon Targaryen - Present

Jon and Dany

Thanks to Bran and Sam, we finally know who Jon really is. As long suspected, Jon is the legit son of Rhaegar Targaryen (aka. Dany’s bro) and Lyanna Stark (Ned’s sis), making Jon the rightful heir to the Iron Throne and Dany’s nephew... Yeah, we’re not happy about that either since it completely ruined the sex scene we’d been waiting so long for.

And no prizes for guessing Dany’s (probably) now knocked up adding another layer of awkward; Jon - errrr, Aegon will be his cousin’s father. Yikes.

Littlefinger - Present and finally getting what he deserves

littlefinger begging

In a GoT twist we thought was just a theory and in our dreams, Littlefinger carked it. THANK YOU, HBO. Turns out he wasn’t playing the Stark sisters off against each other they were playing him.

Just when it looked like Littlefinger had convinced Sansa that Arya wanted to kill her to become Lady of Winterfell and just when we thought Sansa was going to end Arya in order to protect herself, Sansa turned the tables and exposed Littlefinger’s dirty secrets in front of ALL the Lords and Ladies of the North. But if Littlefinger thought he could worm his way out of it, he was forced to think again as all-knowing, all-seeing Bran provided the evidence (thank the Gods for having a Three Eyed Raven in the family). It was all the proof we needed and slimy Petyr Baelish stood accused of starting the whole Stark/Lannister conflict. In the blink of the eye, Arya slit Littlefinger’s throat with his own knife. Burn.

Speaking of Bran, right at the end of the episode he took us to The Wall where we saw the Army of The Dead emerging from the forest like the terrifying bastards they are, this time with new recruit, Viserion blasting The Wall down. A great set-up for what we’re going to get next series.

Q: Do we think Tormund is a goner or is he still alive and stuck on the part of The Wall that did not fall? 

Starting Season 1 (again) immediately… Our watch begins.

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