Game of Thrones Season 7 Recap: Episode 5 Roll-Call

As always, *SPOILERS* ARE COMING
It’s Monday once again and our nerves surrounding Jaime and his potential lack of life are back. *roll opening credits* it’s time for GOT roll-call.

The Lannisters, including one very ALIVE Jaime, and growing – Present

Game of Thrones season 7 episode 5 recap

Urgh. We’re just going to get straight to it: Cersei is preggers. Hoorah, more Satan Spawn! Obviously we’re joking. WHY can’t these hot siblings realise there are plenty of other, less-related people out there?! 

Anyway, we’re not buying it just yet. Given her history, Cersei may be using this phantom baby as a tactic. Jaime seemed genuinely happy though, which is nice. And whilst he was having all the feels, Tyrion popped in with an olive branch: help us, help you. That’s right, Tyrion and Dany have a plan to get Cersei to help take on the White Walkers and save them all.

Speaking of Tyrion though, he’s making us nervous. His conscience seems LEGIT lately and we’re worried if he’s starting to turn away from Dany. He wasn’t into her burning the Lannister army, after all.

Q: Is his loyalty wavering a bit? Who would he support in the war if not Dany?

Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow - Present and steamier than ever

Game of Thrones season 7 episode 5 recap

After Dany was done recruiting whichever members of Cersei’s army were left and burning those who still served the Queen of King’s Landing, she flew home to Jon where potential Step Father of The Year won over one of her kids. We didn’t see it coming, Dany didn’t see it coming and after Jon shit his pants a bit, he realised that like the rest of us, dragons are his fan too. He got so up close and personal with Drogon that he actually pet him. WTF?! We’re assuming Jon being part supernatural has something to do with it.

Who could miss the way they looked at each other as Jon left Dragonstone though? 

The Dust of the Tarlys – Present

Game of Thrones season 7 episode 5 recap

Calm down, NOT Sam, but his arsehole dad and total babe of a brother, Dickon (what a waste). Dany burnt them whilst Sam was busy robbing the Citadel finding more books and scrolls to help fight the Army of The Dead cos he’s a friggin’ SUPERHERO! 

Even though old mate Slughorn doesn’t believe in the White Walkers after receiving word that the Three-Eye Raven had seen them marching towards Eastwatch, Sam has decided to get the hell out of the Citadel and is on route to Jon’s side (with cute family in-tow) to help fight the war.

Sansa and Arya Stark, and Littlefinger – Present

Game of Thrones season 7 episode 5 recap

We so knew the look Arya gave Littlefinger last week was significant. Essentially, we have proof she’s not a fan. A couple of times this ep, Arya spotted old mate doing dodgy things and has taken matters into her own hands. At long bloody last he might get some of the shit he deserves. 

Littlefinger is carrying on like he’s doing things because Sansa has asked him to but we know better... or DO we? Is Arya right to be giving her sister shade for not standing up for Jon when his army were bad mouthing him, because she secretly wants to be queen herself?! Oh gosh, too much to digest.

*Insert mild panic here when we didn’t read the scroll Littlefinger hid fast enough* What was on the scroll?? All we got was that it was signed Sansa.

Q: Do we think Littlefinger planted that scroll for Arya to find? Is he a step ahead, godammit?

The Motley Crew - aka. Tormund Giantsbane, Jorah Mormont, The Hound, Lord of Light Worshippers and GENDRY – Present

Game of Thrones season 7 episode 5 recap

You read right: GENDRY made his long awaited return this episode. And can we just say, my how he’s grown ;) Ser Davos snuck into King’s Landing to rescue and recruit Gendry to help fight the good fight. Obvs Gendry was in cos he hates that he’s working for the people that killed his dad, plus he wanted to get reacquainted with his fellow bastard, Jon. It was a nice moment.

Word spread quickly about Jon wanting to capture a White Walker to prove to his fellow game players they exist; cue a Flying V of the A Team going north of The Wall into battle. 

Q: Anyone else notice how connected this Motley Crew is? The Brotherhood who once sold Gendry to the Red Woman to be murdered, were locked up by Tormund who realises Jon Snow has brought along Jorah Mormont whose father once wanted Tormund dead. But as Jon says they’re all allies now and it’s time to fight the army of the dead. And if the ad for next week is anything to go by, this battle is gonna be EPIC, y’all! #oneteamonedream

We also need a special shout-out for Ser Davos’ wit being very much present. That line he dished out to Gendry and Jon about how they shouldn’t listen to his advice cos he’s managed not to die yet? Love that.

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